Do not remove this book

British Library, London

Do not apologise

Do not attempt to apologise as you pay with your card. We will not accept it if you do.

No apologies - no problem.

Pub in Falmer, Brighton.

Drivers, drop your panties

Intriguing. What is a Pantograph? Any relation to a pantomime? Or an autograph? And if it's so important, why have they got to drop it? What will happen if they don't?

Farringdon Station, London

Enjoy the evening

They invite you to pay to go in, pay for a drink, leave it inside and then go outside and enjoy yourself. Or risk a hefty fine.

I think I'd prefer to stay inside and listen to the music. With a drink, if that's OK.

Music venue, Brighton